The Life and Pineapple of the Party

While Rodrigo may be one of the most envied inanimate objects around, recently he was upstaged - by a fruit! While lawn ornaments get around, pineapples know how to party and this one went to three in one night!


A large part of the entertainment on all our ships is the gameshows. We do a lot of them, usually about two a night, usually based on a TV show I have never seen, like Jeopardy or Family Feud or one of the many others. Apart from Dancing with the Stars (which is nothing like the show), the closest I’ve come to a game show that I’ve actually seen is “Sing it if You Know it”. Watch out Johan Stemmet, when I come back I’m after your job (and one of those waistcoats you wear with the flashing lights on it). What does this have to do with a Pineapple you ask? Yes, I’m getting way off topic. 

One of our game shows is called “The perfect couple” which is a physical challenge gameshow where we make couples do awkward things for laughs and cheap champagne. One of the challenges involves the wife feeding a lemon up her husband’s pant leg and down the other side. Somehow every week we “accidentally” run out of lemons before we get to the last couple and hand them a pineapple as the most obvious substitute. We let them try for about a second before giving them a lemon (which has been soaking in ice-water obviously).  

To prep for this show somebody always has to go down into the giant refrigerator rooms in the bowels of the ship (even slightly colder than my cabin on the Sky) and get the fruit and then after the show they have to dispose of them again. We have a dustbin (-I mean ‘trash can’) in our office for paper that later gets incinerated, but food waste has to go elsewhere where it gets ground-up and made into food for giant squid and fat dolphins.

Most people in our office are pretty good at cleaning up after themselves and putting things back when they are done. Other people suck at this, (I’m not mentioning any names but they may or may not be tall and Canadian and their name may or may not start with an ‘a’ and end with a “dam” for “dammit clean up after yourself man, geez”). And so straightening up the office has become one of our side duties. Each month we are all assigned a different one, whether it’s having our costumes washed or stocking the prize locker. This month Crazy Kayleigh from the UK is responsible for keeping the office clean. 

The cruise before last, when one of the people who suck at cleaning up, left the used lemons and pineapple in the office, Crazy Kayleigh used the skills she had learned hosting the fruit carving demonstration (whoop whoop!!) to carve a face into the pineapple that she then brought to the office pizza night to make a point. (I’m not sure what happened to the lemons. They might still be sitting in the office, actually.) I thought it was funny. So did Evan. I’m not sure anyone else got the joke …or the point. 

Anyway, last week another office pizza evening was arranged - this time as a farewell party for our awesome Assistant Cruise Director Stephanie who was leaving us. I’m not sure if anyone even had a chance to dispose of the pineapple from the show, but Evan brought him to the party anyway. Because it would be rude to come empty handed. Fortunately, there was no Hawaiian pizza so no one felt guilty eating in front of it.  

After the office party, we took all the garbage down to the garbage room and disposed of everything except for our pineapple for whom the night was still young. The three of us then proceeded to the monthly crew party. This month, being on the eve of Indian independence day, the party was Bollywood themed.  Evan and I arrived there with his Pineapple still dressed for the guests’ Glow party (us not the pineapple) in our neon outfits (complete with my shoes with flashy lights) and found only a handful of people in Indian attire and a whole lot of diverse crew members dancing to mostly Pitbul and Reggaeton with an occasional Indian (but not Bollywood song) thrown in and of course Gangnam Style for good measure. It was pretty random. At one point there was also a game of spin the pineapple. Kissing at a Bollywood party - what? Then we took lots of photos with our new friend. Here are some of them:






After the crew party, our Assistant Cruise Director Stephanie, wanted to have some more fun on her last night and invited us to a cabin party. The pineapple raised some eyebrows and some questions along the way. So more people joined us. Who wouldn’t want to party with a pineapple?

Don’t cry, but the pineapple did get disposed of at the end of the night. I’d like to believe that he’s partying with the merfolk now. His life did end on a high note though, Crazy Kayleigh really likes pineapple:  




In other news:


Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It’s- …yes, it’s a bird and a plane
In another attempt to celebrate Stephanie’s last cruise a couple of us went to a place called Airport Beach in St. Maarten. It is  an airport next to a beach where a whole lot of people stand right behind a sign that says “Danger, do not stand here” to get blasted by planes taking off in the other direction. The landing planes come in low over the beach which is fun too. Fortunately not low enough to get sucked into the propellers and spat out in tiny bits of flesh just like in the pictures I saw at safety training I had when I worked at Lanseria Airport …but it did come to mind.





The Unicorn
At the beginning of last cruise when I came out for our sail away party and saw a unicorn in the pool, I thought it might be time to lay off the Redbull and get some sleep. But then when other people could see it too, I asked our new Assistant Cruise Director (who’s also my old Assistant Cruise Director from the Sky) if my birthday present had just arrived early. Apparently not. - Okay, so it was just a guy wearing a mask. It still made my cruise!

When Evan saw him he said to me “Sharon, I like your boyfriend and all, but I think this guy might be your soul-mate.” The unicorn came to all our dance parties and we even ran into him at Airport beach, but by the time we got to the Glow party on day 6 his horn had fallen off. He was just a pony. Which is still cool but real unicorns don’t lose their magic. I hope the one I’m sure they’ve ordered for my birthday arrives next week and has hooves. It’s pretty much the only feature this ship doesn't have.


I found the Macarena in a hopeless place
So the Macarena is still pretty much my thing. At the Glow party (the biggest party of every cruise) there is a stage where the Cruise Staff dance. It’s pretty small and you can really only fit 3.5 people on there comfortably, so some of us will dance there and then swap out when we’re tired or we’re on the verge of suffocation by the overactive smoke machines. Last week everyone left me and no one replaced them right away so for a few moments I was all by myself. I panicked slightly and then went into my default dance routine. It turns out that the Macarena doesn’t work as well to Rihanna’s "We found love in a hopeless place". It works a little bit better to “Put your hands in the air” as I discovered this cruise, but my Latino friends and I agree that the Marc Anthony song works best and that he would be proud. It’s a pleasure, Marc. (If you’d like to reshoot your video you can speak to my agent).

On the topic of dance moves that worked or didn’t, at the last Norwegians Night Out party I managed to start a soul train. I was quite proud of myself considering that that was once a TV show I have never seen because it was full of black people and portraying them in a positive light was not something our Apartheid government was big on at the time. It was quite a hit, but when it ended it nearly derailed the whole party. Fortunately an angel rescued us - Cupid and his shuffle.


A Japanese tourism video win
Last cruise there was also a Japanese film crew on board getting some footage for a tourist promo video. Man, I really hope it’s bad! I’ve always wanted to be in one of those super cheesy and super 80s Japanese tourism videos - almost as much as I’ve always wanted to be in a karaoke video, walking through a park and looking out over a bridge thoughtfully while lyrics flash across my face. A girl can dream! 


We still don’t have stock of keyring light thingies
A shipment of prizes arrived and tragically, there were no keyring light thingies. I sure hope there’s a strike in China because if they’ve been discontinued altogether I will cry. 



9.5 Cruises down, 21.5 to go
The amount of times you are likely to hear Frozen’s ‘Let it go’ during a 1 hour karaoke session = 4

               
               



            

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Sharon Waugh

Sharon is a writer, cruise ship entertainment host and freelance unicorn wrangler. She is currently taking a break from her seafaring adventures to explore some more landlocked locations from her homebase in Johannesburg, South Africa. She likes to photograph a plastic lawn flamingo 'Rodrigo' on her travels because it seemed like a good idea ten years ago and 53 countries later, it’s probably too late to turn back now.

 Sharon greatly dislikes reading 'travel blogs' by people who are just rephrasing press releases or composing lists like '15 ways to travel the world for cheap', specifically formulated for SEO, with absolutely no evidence that the writers have ever left their bedrooms. (This is not one of those blogs.) Sharon also dislikes bigotry and referring to herself in first person, apparently.

To find out more about Sharon and Rodrigo’s travel aspirations read this.

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Practical travel tips and destination guides for anyone visiting any of the places I have been.


My thoughts on travel mascots, photographing your butt in exotic locations and the addictive nature of cruise ship employment, among other things.

True stories about trying to find trolls in Norway, toilets in Denmark and getting flashed in Cuba, to name a few.

Tips for cruisers and crew members, as well as anecdotes from a variety of experiences at sea.