The problem with beach clubs and cronuts

I really love the beach. My parents made the mistake of naming me after a coastal plain so it’s probably all their fault. I also really love a good party and I’m definitely a night owl who’s always up for an evening out. This itinerary has given me the rare opportunity to combine all three.  

My house from the outside at night

While we are mostly at sea at night, in all my time on ships, I have experienced three “overnights” (when the ship stays in port over night) - one in Russia, one in Tampa and one in Copenhagen. I live in a very dangerous city when even driving around at night by myself worries the crap out of my mom, so just going somewhere after dark and being able to walk there is a huge novelty for me and fun in itself. (That’s quite sad really). When I heard that there is a beach club in Bermuda, walking distance from the ship, where everyone parties after work at night, I knew that I wanted to go. 

I was quite excited. Then we got there and I remembered how much I hate drunk people. I really do. I spend a lot of time at the crew bar for a teetotaller but we’re not actually allowed to get drunk at work so it’s okay. The music at this place was not great either. 

Fortunately, along with beaches, parties and going out at night, it did have something else I enjoy: Great material for “people watching” (a.k.a judging people). Who doesn’t enjoy that - especially when people are intoxicated and inhibition-free? I definitely feel my age when I see how people dance these days. Dancing has just gotten weird. In our time there we were subjected to the whip and nae nae (seriously, it’s over. Can we move on now please?) and the more recent “Juju on that beat” (thanks for making me feel like I am at work). At least those songs and the dances that go with them follow some rhythm - not like all the other moves that kids love today that look like a weird tick or seizure in a combination of fast forward and rewind.

After those songs and Despacito (obviously), the rest of the night, there was only one dance move that I saw: The one where people rub their butts on each others crotches.  It’s a really weird thing to do in public. And the drunker they are the harder it is for them to remain standing while this is happening. It’s like a weird game where they're trying to push each other over with the lower parts of their abdomens - it could be entered as a sport into the drunk olympics: whoever remains standing the longest while also spilling the least of their drink wins!

I’ve heard that some people even swim at this place (which probably explains why some girls were wearing their bikinis on the dance floor). As much as swimming in the sea at night sounds like another fun combination of things that I love, if this is what people are doing on the dance floor, I can’t imagine what games they are playing in the water / darkness. 

I guess sometimes your favourite things are just best kept separate, like pizza and ice cream… or like donuts and croissants: This party was like a cronut - worth trying just once. 

Donut + Beach = Good
Donut + Croisant = Bad

3 cruises down, 22 to go 
Cronuts I have eaten in my life: 1




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Sharon Waugh

Sharon is a writer, cruise ship entertainment host and freelance unicorn wrangler, living it up on the high seas. She also likes to photograph a plastic lawn flamingo in exotic locations because it seemed like a good idea 10 years ago and 53 countries later, it’s probably too late to turn back now.

 Sharon greatly dislikes reading “travel blogs” by people who are just rephrasing press releases or composing lists like “15 ways to travel the world for cheap”, specifically formulated for SEO, with absolutely no evidence that the writer has ever left their bedroom. (This is not one of those blogs.) Sharon also dislikes bigotry and referring to herself in first person, apparently.

To find out more about Sharon and Rodrigo’s travel aspirations read this.