The Sharonicles

Here in South Africa, now that we're coming out of Lockdown level 4 and the vaccine rollout seems to be picking up, I think we can start thinking about getting out there and exploring more of our local destinations. (International ones still seem to remain off-limits.)

Before we were hit by the third wave, I was fortunate enough to visit the areas of Woodstock and Salt River in Cape Town. Below I list five reasons why you should too:

Title picture: 5 things to do in Woodstock and Salt River

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Title: A Teetotalers Review of Cape Town’s Art of Duplicity Speakeasy

What is a speakeasy?

That's the first question I am asked whenever I tell people about my visit to the Art of Duplicity. A speakeasy is a secret bar. They were originally created during the American prohibition of the 1920s when drinking was illegal so you had to do it in secret.

In the last two decades, people (mostly overseas) have been opening bars behind laundromats, photo booths, vending machines, or even just behind an unsuspecting door somewhere down a dark alleyway with no signage, not because consuming alcohol is illegal, but because selling it this way makes for a cool gimmick that lures customers to you. It also creates a great word-of-mouth marketing strategy that requires very little effort on your part. Win-win!

Wow, I sound so critical! The truth is speakeasies are great, and the challenge of finding one and making it inside makes for a fun experience. If you’re too old for a nightclub but too young for a mid-life crisis, a visit to a speakeasy is the best way to convince yourself that you’re still hip!

Exhibit A:

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I have the worst case of FOMO ever! In my travels, I have taken many a hop-on hop-off bus tour and every time I overthink where I should be hopping off. It’s hard to know looking at the brochure or listening to that somewhat awkward audio guide, which stops or attractions are really all that attractive, especially if you have limited time.

When it comes to the City Sightseeing Red Bus Tour in Cape Town, even the official website is a little vague about the specifics of what you can expect to see so, as a local who has done the tour, I thought I would help you to prioritise attractions and plan your day or days. Gosh, I'm nice!

A Guide to the Stops on Cape Town’s Hop-on Hop-off Bus

Here is a brief overview of each of the stops on Cape Town’s CitySightseeing Hop-on Hop-off Red Bus Tours:

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Title page: A review of the Simon's Town Scratch Patch

I don’t know why I am writing this post. I am quite embarrassed. But it’s true, despite taking a knock financially and despite my efforts to declutter, I recently ended up at a scratch patch and spent money on actual rocks.

What is a scratch patch, you may ask?

It is a place where they cover the ground in polished gemstones and you can literally go scratching through them and buy your favourites. What could you possibly use these stones for? I do not know. And yet, somehow this is a business model that works! Humans are interesting.

I had been snorkelling that morning with friends. One of them had studied geology and is now a jewellery designer. She wanted to go shopping for some precious stones for some jewellery pieces that she was working on and asked if we could swing past the Scratch Patch on the way home. That made sense to me.

Some of her friends joined us for snorkelling that morning. They have occupations that in no way relate to rocks but they are, for some reason, super passionate about gemstones and crystals. They jumped at the chance to tag along. That made less sense to me and I secretly judged them in my mind for being so excited to spend money on something so pointless.

Now, I’m not saying you should go to the scratch patch. If you are a childless adult who doesn’t have a jewellery design business there really is no good reason to go there, but if you were to go to a scratch patch, here are some things that you might like about it:

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Title screen: Where are the cruise ships and their crew now? An update

It was 13 March last year that the CLIA (Cruise Lines International Association) officially announced the suspension of all cruise ship operations in US ports in the wake of the COVID 19 outbreak, coming into effect on 14 March. From that point all cruises on Princess, Viking, Royal Caribbean, Carnival, Norwegian, Costa, Disney, Virgin and MSC cruise lines were suspended. This was followed by the CDC’s (Centre of Disease Control's) no sail order.

Shortly after the official suspension of the cruise line industry, I shared a post: The Ghost Ships of the Coronapocalypse, covering the perspectives and experiences of the crew members of different cruise lines most of which were still stuck on board. The post also provided some insight into the conditions and locations of the guest-free cruise ships.

One year on, we take a look at where the cruise ships and their crew are now:

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Title Image: My Nudibranch selfie: A guide to Snorkelling in Simon's Town

While I have snorkelled many times on some beautiful coral reefs in the Caribbean and loved every second of every experience, I didn’t have the same desire to snorkel in the chilly not-so-blue definitely-not-so-warm and not very coral-filled waters off the coast of Cape Town in my own country. Then, considering I have texture issues to the point where the thought of eating an uncooked slice of tomato is traumatic, the idea of swimming through slimy kelp forests made it seem even less fun.

But then Netflix released their documentary ‘My Octopus Teacher’ filmed on location in the kelpy waters of Simon’s Town and my friends decided to jump on that bandwagon. By this time, I already owned a wetsuit (for surfing), a snorkel mask (from my time in the Caribbean) and a bad case of FOMO (fear of missing out) that was far more severe than my fear of monstrous icky sea plants clinging to - and possibly submerging and engulfing - my body. (Yup, giant squid are not my only irrational ocean-related fear!)

The goal of spotting an octopus was never specifically stated, but there isn’t a person on this planet who has seen that documentary, who will go snorkelling in Simon’s Town (or anywhere) and not hope to see one of those cute little molluscs. On top of that, I don’t mean to brag, but I kind of have a reputation for the super flattering #turtleselfie I took a few years ago, so I felt the pressure to please my Instagram followers with a followup #octopusselfe.

Octopus Spotting - Attempt 1:

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I think it goes without saying that in the last few months most of our favourite destinations have had to adapt to the new COVID-19 protocol. The Two Oceans Aquarium (also known as 'the Cape Town Aquarium') is no different. If you are having a rough week and you just want to go visit a shark, chat to a penguin or be stared at by a turtle (I effing love turtles), here’s what you can expect if you visit it now:

Girl looks at shark. Title page: A guide to the Two Oceans Aquarium, Cape Town during COVID-19

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What is a speakeasy?

Here is a brief overview of each of the stops on Cape Town’s CitySightseeing Hop-on Hop-off Red Bus Tours:

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